One week to go before DESERT DREAMS!
 I am sitting here on my laptop in the midst of fine tuning a few parts of my manuscript for A Price Above Vengeance. ( I'm beginning to wonder,  are we ever really done? Probably not until I hand it over to the publisher!) I am also working on my "pitch". With my brain still spinning from finishing our taxes at the eleventh hour, I am now struggling to condense 100k words into about 40! Pretty tall order. But when I'm not sure I can  do something, I turn to my friends of like mind --  my writer friends and test readers.
My husband would joke and say I'll use any excuse to meet them for coffee or wine but truly it is the people in my inner circle that get me through the days when I doubt myself. Not sure if that is a writer thing or a woman thing, but I think we all have them. Friends are who we turn to when we need a leg up in life, a fresh perspective, and even a shoulder to cry on -- as well as being able and willing to do the same for them in their time of need -- and we all need it now and then!
I have been called a hopeless romantic, and not just because I write in the romance genre. I've even been accused of being jaded because I've been fortunate enough to be in love with the same man for the last 30 years ( married for almost 27!). Perhaps they are right, but it's important to remember that a good romantic story isn't just about the magic of falling in love and the HEA -- writer lingo for happily ever after. Its all of the in-between -- the cake under the icing  if you will-- even if it's not always as sweet as we would like. Those challenges define our strengths and reveal our weaknesses so that we can become stronger the next time the storm blows our way... and they always do.
In the process of today's edits, I am reminded that, as Adrian and Gwinn are in the midst of a serious confrontation, it is those difficult times that help to build the trust that is the foundation of any relationship -- whether romantic or platonic.
Ultimately it is the people we love that show us by their actions, commitment and of course... LOVE how valuable we are. They help us find and keep our objectivity so that we can (re) focus on the big picture, look back at how far we've come, and envision the brightest future possible.
Hopeless romantic or not, I think it is within each of us to create our own happily ever after by pursuing our Desert Dreams, no matter what they might be.

I've always believed that, in life, there are no accidents. Whether good or bad, even the truly aweful things we are dealt in life become part of who we are. They make us stronger, giving us the perspective we need to appreciate what we have,they restore our humanity and show us that, in spite of what we think when were in the midst of our grief, the world around us isn't a completely hopeless place.
Those close to me know all too well that the last few years have certainly challenged my personal belief in the goodness of the world around me. I still have moments when my mind goes back to the rage I felt at the string of injustices that fell upon my family and I till I was certain I would break. But, now, I have the strength to push back, to cast away the the need for vengeance and trust that the universe will take care of itself -- though maybe not as swiftly as I might like. I refuse to waste any more energy waiting for justice. That negativity no longer serves me, and if Im am honest with myself, it never did except to become catalyst to something altogether unexpected. This is the ultimate example of making lemons into lemonade.
Injustice. Vengeance. Belief. Trust. Though I didn't see it at the time, it is now, in hindsight, that I know without a doubt that those themes wove thmselves into my writing as a form of therapy that even Freud himself would be impressed with.
In this quote, he said: "Words have a magical power that can bring either the greatest joy or the deepest despair... Words are capable of arousing the strongest enotions and control all of man's actions."
In my writing, I found a voice for those emotions, bringing them to life within the characters that could do the things I never could;  by finding redemption, and in the end, seeing that justice is served even if only on the page. Sadly, in the real world, justice is a false precept --ultimately unattainable and unrealistic within our current culture. But I've made peace with that... for now.
Throughout this journey, there have been friends, both old and new, that have amazed me in their unwavering enthusiasm and support of what is important to me. Those are the people who inspire me every day to stay the course and live the best life I can.
In the last few months, I have had the pleasure and privilage of joining a group of writers that share my passion for the craft. They assure me that the voices in my head that distract me with their chatter and keep me up at night don't mean I'm crazy or delusional, becuase they hear them too. I have learned that they are just  part of the magic of writing fiction and that in listening to their story, I have discovered a part of myself that I never knew existed. For all of my friends -- including Adrian and Gwinn -- I am grateful.

What Are Secrets?

Alice came to a fork in the road.

“Which road do I take?” She asked.

“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.

"I don’t know?" Alice answered.

“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”

- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Since I was a small child, I have always identified with the ever curious Cheshire Cat.
Like some twisted archetype, that character epitomizes the ultimate observer - watching silently but  tempting us with that tantalizing glimmer in his eyes, holding tightly to his secrets, kindling our curiosity about what those secrets might be.
In old Sicily, they called it Omerta. The code of silence. Break that code and... well, you get the picture.
La Cosa Nostra certainly had their ways of enforcing that code, but what about the rest of us? I like to think that we live in a more civilized culture... but sometimes I wonder!My definition falls more within the normal realm... Confidential. Shared only by the initiated. Containing information that, if disclosed, would pose a threat to ones self or others.
Human nature tells us that it is the "We want what we are denied" instinct that drives our curiosity and compels us to keep asking questions until we find what we seek.
In my day job, I hear all about other peoples secrets. Some scandalous, some irrelevant, few of which hold my attention for more than a few minutes before they are lost to the cacophony of my busy workplace. And of course, it would be unethical to disclose such confidential information.
It's been said that truth is stranger than fiction but, when I want to hear a juicy secret, I like to sink my teeth into a really good book.
I love a story with compelling - and usually hot - characters that drive my curiosity and make me desperate to know more. Where they live, what they look like. And a good imagination always paints a more vivid image than even nature can create - and that's half the fun!
But, the most compelling question for me is: what motivates them to do what they do?
Why do they have no conscience - or better yet - why are they tortured by it... or not?
What are those life changing dilemmas from the past that make someone who seemingly has everything to live for not want to live to see another day? You get the idea.
Gorgeous characters are all well and good - they capture or attention - but its the fatal flaws that make a good character - and therefore, a story - interesting to me. The ultimate dilemma - why do people do what they do?
Every book - even the electronic kind - has a cover that is designed to get our attention. Beautiful pictures, elegant graphics, dramatic colors make us curious enough to pick it up or click on it.
What lies behind the window dressing? The only way to find out is to read the book and discover their secrets.
But... if the secrets in the books you find no longer hold your attention, what do you do?
You let your imagination run amok and write your own!
And that is how I landed here!